


She Doesn't Even Go Here!

by Rurouni_Idoru



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Don't Even Watch Supernatural, Implied Aziraphale/Crowley, This Is STUPID, in a meta sense, not a crossover but something similar, seriously this is incredibly stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27448264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rurouni_Idoru/pseuds/Rurouni_Idoru
Summary: Nil seeks some advice on how to take credit for her latest chaotic accomplishment.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	She Doesn't Even Go Here!

“Start again,” Crowley said, “this time, in a language either of us might understand.”

“I made it canon. Sort of. Kinda. I dunno that the humans understood my intentions.” Nil sighed. “The angel delivered a love confession to the FPS protag, and then immediately went to, like, Gay Angel Turbo Mega Hell.”

“That seems a bit… ” Aziraphale paused, clearly trying to find the right word and struggling.

“I mean, there’s a lot of plot shit that makes it more complicated, but yeah, the optics are wack as hell.” Nil paused, and then amended, “Not what I asked for, by the way! You know I’m  _ very _ pro-angels-rebelling-for-love.”

“What _did_ you ask for?” asked Crowley skeptically.

“Look, you gotta understand. This show’s been shambling along for thirteen friggin’ seasons, each more nonsense schlock than the last, they’ve been teasing this thing as a joke for ages, and it’s finally ending. What I said to the writers, my  _ exact words, _ were ‘make it gay, you cowards!’ I did not expect they would take the influence in such a… Sodom-and-Gomorrah-y looking direction.”

“‘Gay Angel Turbo Mega Hell’?” Aziraphale repeated trepidatiously.

“Like it’s not specifically for gay angels, it’s supposedly where angels and demons go when they die. ‘Cause, y’know, that makes sense.”

“Regular Hell’s miserable enough,” Crowley mumbled. “They had to go invent some worse version just for us?”

“Yeah, they wore out regular Hell as a narrative device.” Nil rolled her eyes. “The threat of Hell kinda lost its punch once the human characters started coming and going at roughly the same rate I do.”

“How exactly does one  _ get out _ of Hell?”

“Don’t ask me, Crowley won’t tell,” Nil pouted. “In-show, though, I dunno, there’s some convoluted plot or something. Honestly, I never watched the damn thing, I was in it for the smutty fanfiction. The fans are pioneers of internet erotica.” 

“Really,” said Aziraphale, in a voice that sounded decidedly un-angelically interested.

“Incidentally, if you decide to look into it, I should warn you that all the talk about  _ alpha and omega _ is not actually theological discussion.” Nil paused to groan. “It figures. I decide to stay out of politics for this election, and yet another one of my idle ideas succeeds beyond my wildest imaginings, and once again I have no freaking clue how to explain it to Head Office. I mean, the internet is losing its goddamn collective mind over this, the timing is fuckin’ ridiculous, and now I might have to try to explain the concept of  _ queerbaiting _ to a boss who fell before gender was invented and never bothered to look into it?”

For a moment, no one said anything at all, but then Crowley broke the silence at last.

“Why don’t you just tell them you committed some massive voter fraud instead?” Nil started a reply, but stopped short to consider it for a moment.

“Huh. Yeah, I could do that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Nil definitely participated in the Mishapocalypse.


End file.
